So my brother is going out with Melissa now.

and just a few mintues ago I was browsing through one of my friend's photos on facebook. Her name is Sonia.

I click for next phoots, and end up on a pic saying "new couple!" with my brother's ex, Erika, and her new boyfriend... they say she vents to everyone SHE dumped him and that she's been with that enw guy for a while.

funny thing is, my brother told her to get the hell out and dumped her hard that night, not the other way around :P

we all think "if he survives... good for him!"

But I think Melissa is a girl my brother will be with her for a while. after all, she's erika's opposite, and erika was Alex's opposite too :P

funny huh?

So far, I kept on thinking I MIGHT go live with my fiance in september.. getting a job there so we can live together once school is out in december.

but the more we talk, the more I think, the more I WILL move there... right?

He made me notice that what I was amd about the other day, was similar to waht made hmi decide it was time to move out of the family nest.

I was mad because everytime I leave later than 10 pm, my parents yell and scream they don't like it in case I get ni an accident... I've been driving for almost 4 years now, on my own. i've gained more experience on high density roads as well as highways than them. They never go as far as I do.

That, and the fact that they barely listen to me... mom tries her best, but dad seems to be asking questions just because he has to. Asking me things, and 5 minutes later, ask the same question AGAIN... mom, a morning asked me 4 tmies in 5 minutes at what time I was working... the last time I told her, calm, "mom, I repeat it for the 4th time... 11:30"

Mom: we tried to call you all evening! where were you???? we were worreid sick!
me: mom... I told dad this morning I was working from 4:30 to 9...
dad: oops.... I just remembered... I THINK she told me, yeah.

give me a brek, it's like that everyday.

Whenever I put my room clean, some things taht are not mine end up in my room, thrown either on my bed or bedside table... not that I don't keep it clean, they jsut come back everyday to throw carelessly anything they THINK is mine, because my room is closest to the main rooms.

aka stargate series lying around in my room for he past 6 months.... HELL THEY KNOW I DISLIKE STARGATE!!!

so overall, jm says he was reacting the same about his parents.

I know I'm young, 20 years old is not a lot, but I'm not 17 witha fresh licence and fresh wanna drink and get drunk than drive attitude... I dont even go in clubs or the likes. I simply go to another town, 30 minutes away to see my boyfriend between 11 pm and 12 am.

I have a cellphone, if anything happens it happens... there are less cars in the area at night, might as well take that advantage to avoid others to bump into me or something. it's always the other's fauilt here.

the more I think about it, the more I'll be getting ready to move out.
finding a job as a hairdersser assistant in august, leave the grocery store once and for all and settle down while going to school and paying my debts asap. while helping jm a bit every week since he's letting me stay for free.

:) I'm lucky. hopefully things work out that well once school starts again for a last semester

I've decided to take care of myself now... to allow myself one hour per day or more to exercise and to control my eating.

I'm a person that likes to eat and has a bad habbit of eater in some bad times

aka
- watching tv, which happens once every couple of dys before going to bed = ++++++ bad idea
- eating sugar things after exercise
- eating junk food and chocolate at work from all the "I fucking don't know what to eat at work, so let's go for the easy stuff by the cash...


I really want to control this and be a better me.

I want to be able to shop and FIND something...

I was shopping sunday and the girls and guys NOTICED how HELLA HARD it is for me to shop... because there are 3 different problems...

1. I'm at the limit size in regular clothes stores and they don't hold many of my size...
2. I'm too small for + sizes...
3. My breasts don't fit in regular clothes. They fit in +, but I'm not "fat" enough to fit in the rest, thus making me tlook 40 pounds bigger.


I believe this to be a CHUBBY BUSTY girl's biggest problem...
I found 2 pieces of clothes... one I haveto wear a tube top under it so it wont show my whole "crack" and breasts (think makoto in bleach)
and a dress (I DId wanted a summer dress) and it has to be plain and look like a night dress (affing a few ribbons on it makes it look like a real dress so it all ends up I found 2 pieces instead of 6 like I expected... and I have skirts, but no shorts)


I told them... I'm not difficult, I don't fit!
I'm between everything x_x I'm between marie-claire, and marie-france stores god damnit!

and one dress I thought would fit, didn'T have my size... they sold the last one a few minutes ahead T_T

I really need to at least lose 2 sizes... if I do, it'll be easier for me to shop and look good... or not like an old mom.

not that I'm that big... my friend is bigger than me, yet she finds nice clothes because her breasts are TINY.... I'm smaller, but have waaaaay bigger breasts so nothign fit...

if my bust fits somewhere, it makes me look fatter... if it fits perfect over the belly, it'll explode over the breasts... what's a shirt? I don't know what a shirt is anymore!!!

hella.. I also need to feel in shape again and feel nice about myself.

end.

My b oyfriend's gonna say I'm over reacting...

but Neondrane chose me for his character's voice! (don't know all the details yet but I'm pretty sure it'll be cool)

some female ninja thing! :3 I'm SO ubber happy ^^ he's giving me a huge opportunity here, especially fora french speaker who will voice act english XD (I'm pretty sure it'll be some flash thing :3)

anyways XD I had a feww iches while recording, sometimes because of my expanders XD but it overall came out awesome!

http://media.putfile.com/Neon-Drane-Character-2-Audition (samples FOR the role)
http://media.putfile.com/Audition-samples (random samples of what I can do... never thought I'd sing barney's love song)


anyways... I'm pretty sure it'll be really fun to do :) with that, ronincards and random photoshoots and commissions... this,ll be busy but awesome.

My brother had a wierd relationship with a girl named Karine a while ago... He said she changed when they became closer and has never called her back saying she was too short... she's 5'2" (but he's 6'2")

During the time he was with Karine a lot, he was repeating to his ex girlfriend, Melissa how much he DIDN't want to go back with her (her ex... he was dating her 7 years ago... he had been with erika for over 6 years almost)

But since the last month, he was over here to sleep once a week.... all the erst of the time was at melissa's place..

Mom asked him when he's moving out, he said "in a few days"

does he really mean it? he spends his time at Melissa's place... days, nights and cmoes back jsut to refresh in the pool with her on super hot humid days we recently had.



For my part, my often at jm's place... mom and dad keep being mad for not warning them about when we'll cme back... now I feel BAD for hanging out at my boyfriend's lpace and my OWN future place...

My brother starts physiotherapy for his kyst in his wrist monday so he syas he'll come back only monday night... he says he'll sleep at mel's place until saturday and saturday he's going camping with her...


but he's not telling us anything about it. mom kind of worries since he keeps playing around with these girls and then kicking them out... Melissa had also been sad and crying because he was seenig her as a friend and nothing else... he told us he'd NEVER EVER go out with her ever again... she was too fat (she's chubby jsut like me, if not LESS than me)


anyways... this is all starting to piss me off since my parents laugh at me when I get back home "OMGEEE we have a daughter? I thought she was dead!" and all that crap... grrr

mom looks mad, buys food for everyone yet she has to throw everything away because my brother's not here to eat it...

I have a friend out there... who is an artist. Or you COULD call her an artist.

What she used to do on her own when we were kids was looking great. She was constantly making up competitions with me to have more fans than I did. While my goal is not fame, I never really cared.

Numerous times people had no idea I could draw and they were venerating her and it has never made me feel negative. I enjoyed my art because I knew I was good and it was making me feel relief when I practiced it.

Over the years, she studied arts in college and did like me, open a DeviantART account. My good friend Draven also did open an account: he's a B&W portrait photographer. A very good one too.

That other friend is a painter to begin with. Over the years, Draven and I had always developped similar talents. We do graphic arts, photography and even draw together (or he watches me do it rather than together). We spend awesome time together doing lots of artsy things. We spend almost a whole evening and night shopping art stores and painting on his clothes as well as some of mine. He even made me necklace. We could've spent the night doing that! we stopped at 3 am because I was working 1 pm that same day ;^^

Since we've been doing LOTS of things together: I was his graduation photographer, he hungs some of my art pieces on his walls, we do free art exchanges (ID's and others) as well as photoshoots, that other girl's been trying to do just like us...

She seems to feel a bit out of position and has been doing what we have.

Draven and I were administrators on a graphic art forum and were hiring graphic artists. She sent her application but her work was far from being what we were looking for. She lacked kowledge of photoshop and never bothered taking more than 5 minutes on a piece. We refused her application.

We were insulted and told not to understand the principals of arts because of it. Not only was she not working clean, but she was not even using filtres and her edges were sharp. There were no special effects to make her work stand out unique.

She was mad not to do like us and to be as good. She thought because she was a friend she could do it? it never worked that way. She always wanted fame and being known. She used to write her DA account URL in BARS! yes in BARS on the billiard boards.

she wants us to call her by her artist name, which I don't do because I've known her before being this heartless freak. Even I am not ALWAYS called Jaya besides by her or those who known me through her.

I started using digital art, she has too. I got a wacom tablet, she decided she wanted one too. Yet she has no means to use it since her number 1 well worked media is traditionnals.

She says she has knowledge of photoshop, but school taught her basics... nothing better than self taught for 8 years like me. If you can't use it to its full potential or at least 80%, it's not knowledge, it's trial and error to me.


Now that my friend and I have been asked many times for portrait photoshoots for numerous companies or graduations and even personnal ones, she has done the same with her only friend you could consider a "model". A goth girl.. this means only one type of photo is made and with no variety. The person who have been appraoch for them, are also the same type as her previous one.



I find it sad... just SAD that she feels the constant need to surpass Draven and I...

How can you live happily in your own art if you only appreaciate being on the top and being the best? without even looking down at your things and say "my art looks great, I should be proud to be as good as I am"

a real artist does it for fun and especially because it makes them feel better. I've never met artists that are looking for COMPETITION besides her.

Wanting to be the best is okay, but doing like the others just to surpass them even though you have 0 idea on how that thing works...

she made business card once, and she did everything against the principles of visual graphic arts... some elements were dominant that shouldn't be (you're asking this to a previous graphic designer). She starts graphic design where I studied it 3 years ago... yet it has NOTHING to do with what she believes. then she says she can design things, but it's strict and mostly newspaper designing or similar things... not messed up things in photoshop like YOU want to do them... it'S all about working for someone else: doing things YOU don't want, but what OTHERS want you to...

doing things against your heart so to speak. That's why I dropped it.


so yeah... I needed to get that out. all I can do is criticise her work and suggest her some things to get better.

I'm... EXHAUSTED!

I had the biggest day ever today....

1. I get to school and am given a customer.... Melanie Trudel. She cancels but gives her appointment to her friend, Yannie.

2. Yannie comes in, witht eh surprise, she's 15 years old accompanied by her mom. Her mom sits behind me ALL the way during the hair fixing procedure.... coming up in my mind "it feels like I'm being watched..."

- her job was to REDO the blonde stripes she had done in FEBRUARY! She had a 2 inches long ROOT! WTH?!?! They were specially made ones too so it was hard to find them all... So I use a bleach on the roots to lighten them up as equally as possible... once done, I rinse alll the thing and use a hair cleasing cream shampoo...

- I put on a 20 minutes semi-permanent color (Shade EQ) of 09GB color (butterscotch). once done, I re-reinse her hair out, clean them up, condition them, treat them... I sit her back, cut her hair and bangs... once done, I straighten her hair like she wanted. Satistfied, she leaves giving me 5$ tip that paid my lunch...

3. lunch: a can of coca cola and a small cherry Jello.
I take my 45 minutes break and get back to class at 2 pm... school ends at 3. I sart working on my quadrant hair color corrections and prepare to clean up.

4. Tommy does Caroline's hair, a streak she wants blue for st-jean-baptiste... BUT asks everyone in the class: "can you finish, my boyfriend's coming to pick me up..." COME ON!!! never start something you CAN'T finish.

I decided to finish the job... I got to know her and we get along a hell a lot! I made a new friend it seems! :P Once done, it was 3:45 pm... I drove her to her boyfriend's place because she had gigantic heavy bags to carry. I go home, but get stuck in a full lot of traffic...

5. I get home at 5 pm, eat dinner.

6. right after dinner, I had to cut my brother's hair!

7. once THAT was done, I had to dye mom's roots!

8. Once done, it's 8:30 pm... I go to my aunt to talk a bit and come back to watch the end of a show with mom.

9 and HERE I $%&&?%*"/$&" AM!!!

now someone says I don'T deserve to sleep! it's 10:49 pm!!!

I'm working at 8 in the moning and 8:30 sunday... x_x I have an exam tuesday and am off monday, but working.



hairdressing is funa nd you don't see the time pass AT ALL! which is why I like physically active jobs like that ^^

I'm also getting MY hair done next thursday, and going back another time for my streaks to be silver. it's a more than one time job to bleach hair at that lvl without burning them off.

anyways... as for now, I'm heading to BED after putting my clothes away x_x had no time for ANYTHING o.o

hair tips? ask me.

Because I don't want to post this in my DA journal again x_x

On other news.... nothing XD school ends soon and I'm reeeeaaally tired of it! I like school, but I'm not a morning person.




-Personal Info :star:

~Name: Jessica
~Height: 5'2"
~Weight: could be healthier
~Birthday: Feb 8
~Birthplace: St-constant, Quebec/canada
~Current Location: Delson, QC/CA
~School/Grade: Professionnal: secretary diploma and currently earning hairdressing
~Zodiac Sign: Aquarius
~Chinese Zodiac Sign: Cat/Rabbit/hare
~Righty or Lefty: Righty
~Haircolor: dark brown with red
~Eyecolor: blueish green
~Skin Color: qhite pink

-About You

~What's Your Family Situation (Parents, Siblings, etc): parents together and I have an older brother
~Any Pets: one
~If So What Are They: pikachu the cat
~Favorite Relative: my grand aunt and grandma
~Least Favorite Rlative: mom's assholes brothers and sisters and my other grandma
~What's Your Heritage/Race: pure quebecker.... bu tHEY come from french
~Political Affilation: this is a good question to start debates

-Love and Sex :p

~Sexuality: Straight, but loooooves women and finds them to be a good turn on
~Are You In A Relationship Now: I am ^^
~If So, With Whom: Jean-Mathieu, aka WOLF or aka j-m
~For How Long: 5 years and 4 months as of today, june 5 ^^
~Are You In Love?: I am, and am more and more
~Do You Have A Crush On Anyone: wolfu! :D
~Ever Had A Crush On Someone Of The Same Sex?: I don't have "crushes" on them
~How Old Were You When You Had Your First Kiss?: 15 years old :)
~Virgin?: nope
~If Not, How Old Were You When You Had Sex For The First Time: 15 years old >_>
~Was It Enjoyable?: ya :3 hehe had to tell HIM to shut up and stop worrying about ME
~Where Do You Most Like To Be Kissed?: cheeks, lips, neck and forehead ^^
~Best Love Quote?: "don't worry, I'll always be there to help you"

-Your Friends

~Best: Sometimes I wonder if she is MY best friend or just not the other way around...
~How Many Do You Have?: real ones can be counted on a hand
~Love Them All?: I do :)
~Any You Wish You Were Closer To?: as long as they're important to me, it's all that matters :)
~Oldest?: Valery
~Newest?: Kim
~Pen Pal?: hm?

-This Or That :giggle:

~Boxers or Briefs?: boxers on men
~Thongs or G-Strings?: thongs D:
~Shorts or Pants?: depends... both are very nice ^^
~Shoes or Barefeet?: shoes :D
~Books or Movies?: Movies!!! -hates reading-
~Night or Day?: Both for different reasons :D
~Dark or Light?: Light ^^ 100% angel's side
~Mountains or Beach?: both in different situations
~Snow or Sun?: SUN!!! I'M SO SICK OF SNOW!
~Pepsi or Coke?: pepsi
~Guys or Girls?: guys
~Swim or Surf?: swim :D

-For Or Against :poke:

~Gay Marriage?: for, simply because if "I" feel the need to get married, why wouldn't they have it too?
~Abortion?: for. sometimes things happen at a wrong time even with as much precautions as possible... and when you have a chance of making achild live a good life LATER, or make him live in garbage right now.... I'd rather not have a child suffer from my mistakes OR not get things he could have simply because I was impatient. oh, there's also agression reasons.
~Bush Getting Re-elected?: 100% against...this man is crazy =.=
~Suicide?: against... life is full of ups and downs... it's a normal thing to go over them
~War?: 500% against
~Pants?: for, sometimes things are not good to see... X_x
~Clothes In General?: depends what.. I'm not really FOR young teenager's fashion
~Penises?: why would we be against THAT.... it's a source of life afterall!

-Favorites

~Color: red, pink, green and white
~Number?: 3 and 8
~Holiday?: st-jean-baptiste!
~Season?: summer!!!!
~Movie?: can't come up with one..
~Book?: les sept jours du talion by patrick senecal
~Magazine?: Elle QC
~Food? Italian
~Drink?: p0rnstar :D
~TV Show?: HOw it is made or Hantise
~Song?: none comes up
~Band?: Nightwish
~Computer Game?: WoW
~Video Game?: Final fantasy series
~Anime/Manga?: FMA, GW and priness tutu
~Shirt?: open shoulders but long like a tunic
~Pants?: clean black oes
~Actor?: Jerry O'connel :)
~Actress?: Hale Barry (sp?)
~Singer?: Anette from Nightwish
~Flower?: The lotus
~Scent?: the lotus, vanilla and peach
~Animal?: lynx
~Cookie?: mr. christie's chocolate chip cookies!

-About Future :innocent:

~Want To Go To College?: nope, already tried and failed
~What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?: a hairdresser and open my own salon! hopefully be able to raise my kids well
~Want To Get Married?: of course I do, I have the most wonderful man on earth, how can I NOT want kidsa dn get married with him ^^
~Want To Have Kids?: see above answer!
~What Would Their Names Be?: it's hard, because it's a two person's decision ^^ he likes older names, I like special ones... girl: Nessa, Van, Jaihla, Amélia or Axelle ... boy: Yue, Gabriel, Loucka
~How Many?: 2, maybe a girl and a boy? boys would be fine by me though :)
~Where Do You Want To Live?: on the countryside!!
~Where Do You Want To Get Married?: in my natal church... so much as been held there that's important to me...
~How Do You Want To Die?: The way God planned me to die

-More Stuff About You

~Piercings?: used to have!
~Tattoos?: 3 hopefully more :)
~Smoke?: nope, except in raree occasions but I'll do my best not to from now on
~Drink?: when I go out, always a glass or two
~Do Drugs?: rarely
~Skinny Dip?: no I guess
~Greatest Fear?: spiders, insects, deep water and wide pitch black places
~Chocolate or Vanilla?: vanilla
~Go To Church?: not really
~Religion?: Christian
~Scars?: on each legs, a few on my fingers and hands
~CDs Owned?: lots
~Collections?: trinkets
~Like To Be Naked?: only in my shower
~Ever Eaten Sushi?: ye, and I don't like it
~An Entire Case Of Oreos?: YES scarey huh?
~Been On Stage?: ya
~Danced In The Rain?: yes
~Kissed Someone Of The Same Sex?: a peck, nothing more
~Weirdest Dream?: I was preggy and everyone agreed... it WAS a dream, that's for sure!!
~Best Dream?: aaaaah! my imagination can be wide
~Saddest Dream?: someone dying on me and feeling so realy I was confused when I woke up.
~Dream You Most Wish Would Come True?: to be in a different world then our own with more action and supernatural things :D
~Think You're Attractive?: I'm an okay person.. no one flirts with me :P
~Shoplifted?: hm?
~Been Caught "Doing Something"?: almost
~Weirdest Makeout Place?: by the shore in a car at 2:30 am on a christmas party?
~Like Thunderstorms?:I HATE them... they scare me to death
~Favorite Shoes?: skate ones
~Favorite Quote?: holly crap!
~Best Advice Given?: doing it step by step saves you a lot of time
~Worst Advice Given?: no clue o.O;
~Favorite Song Lyric?: eeeh
~What Quote Says Most About Your Life?: -shrugs-
~Glad This Is Over?:yes!!!!!

5 People You Tag?: none!

J-M moved yesterday... all of his furniture is in his appartment! only a few things lack:

his computer, alarm clock and my tooth brush ­>_>

his internet will be connected thursday, as wel as his grocery should be done this week (or so he says) so by the end of next weekend he'll be officially living there :)

it's a very nice place! I love it there!

it's the second block from the corner of the main road, and the street is facing the mall! the convenient store and mall are 2 minutes by WALK away and he's right by the highway. he's also 2 km away from his job :)

all this for not taht much money when you think about it (keeping personnal price and all, anyways it changes from town to cities as well as provinces and states, so it's not an important matter). He also gets to have enough place for two acrs to fit in his parking lot :D and we can park in FRONT of the building.

he's facing the arena, pool, and a school. this means he has a lot of things to do sports!

But the interior is what I prefer.

When you enter the building, he's the second appartment, in a half basement. you get down 4 stairs, turn right and you're at the door.

Once you get inside, you havea corridor goin right with the bathroom a meter away from the front door. then on the left, the washing machines. a little down the corridor, you get his room on the right, rather big one I gotta mention.

a meter away from that you enter nthe main area,m the kitchen that is slightly on the left, a counter seperating the kitchen and the living room (which has a couch, a big storage furniture and his HUGE dinner table).

Then on the left corridor you have at the end his hobby room... where he has his computer and everything else.

it's very cute and the colors don't need to be changed, they look great.

I wish I could'Ve been with him and not use HIS things... because when you think about it, everything is HIS... When I move in with him in a year or half a year, nothing is "mine" in there... if we ever split up, I lose everything AND everything I have at my parent's.... when I move out, they wont be keeping anything for me "just in case" and I'll have to start over.

though I wont think about that. I love his place and I wish I could consider it mine as well... but tghe fact that he pays for every single things and everything in there is of his property, I could never say it's my "home" unless he lets me act as if it was...


but I cleaned some things for him today if I can atleast do that to help him set up in his home.


So, I skipped school 3 days and can now go back feeling better. thursday people were mad at my teacher and were far from being confident enough to work on men customers... they got on my nerves AND when I told them a lady called to be a cusomter for the color correction exam, every single student ignored me... I went back tot eh reception frustrated and told Jessica (a girl from my class) how frustrated I was to be looked at as if I needed to shut to fuck up and take my things and scram... AND being ignored. She took the paper, went in class and told people. a girl took the name for her exam... that same person who told me to fuck off with her eyes... it frustrated me. So I took my things, went to see my teacher and principal and told them I was leaving...

friday, I had no intension of enduring all of this on ANOTHER customer's day... I decided to stay home... same for today, but even with more sleep I couldn't get up... me wanting to help jm clean was too strong even though he says he disagree ;;^^ he told me not to skip anymore until it's finished for summer. (a little less than 2 weeks)

-sigh- I'm still looking for a model for my perm exam... this is getting a hell difficult...

I'm cold...

So, Tonight was really a fun night! Some coworkers and I went somewhere to drink something for Sean's birthday. We went to a place outside and it was raining. We had a lot of fun. We then left to eat at Como pizzeria before I drove sean, frank and julie back home (as we live a few streets away, all 4 of us)

on our way there, we were stuck in a alcohol control barrage... yeah and we DID drink earlier...

whe stopped us, I opened my window and he came VERY close to my face and asked if we had drank. I answered "nope"

but realizing how suspect it looked to say no in a car full of 20 years old people at 2: 30 am... I added "well they drank a glass or two, but I'm driving them back home"

the police officer that was rather cute asked "are you in condition to drive" and I said "Sure am!" and he let us go.

I dropped Sean at his house and came back... on my way to the corner where the police were, a guy let a lady pass after the test..., BUT she took the WRONG WAY! she went straight towards me on the other dside of the road that is seperated!!!! I looked at julie and add "and she was let go after passing the test? She acted as if it was okay...."

now I'm here and going to bed XD


I mentionned in my DA journal that I might go with coworkers to see melanie on her mom's funeral tuesday. She had brain sugery done the other day and everything was fine and the surgery went perfectly with no harm as told... The next morning is when things got worst. She had a heart attack followed by a "ACV," or "AVC" however you call it. She was only 48 years old and leaves behind her own boyfriend, her 25 years old daughter and her 5 years old grand daughter...

its really hard on everyone at work that knew nher, and her husband and daughter. We had no idea something like it could've happen. Melanie's pregnant too and she was stressed and almost lost it... I hope she,ll do fine nontheless regardless her mother's gone now... it'll be really hard for her. We will got ehre to give her our condoleances an sympathies....

so,I'm off to sleep!!! :)

I was working tonight.

What didn't I notice? at 8 pm.... 3 hours after my shift and 5 hours since I got home after the bike ride....

My right arm and chest are covered of sunburn XD not mentionning the bits of my nose being reddish XD

While my left arm si fine... wierd huh?

I'm taking some colors.

Mom and dad saw me and pointed my nose "she IS tanning a bit... look at those frekkles that pop up"

whua XD my frekkles are coming back o.o

but seriously, I was all fine when I felt heat on my right arm and noticed I was lobster red!
and I thought: WTH I was alright for the past 5 hours! Once this sunburn'S gone, I'll have a nice shade ot my arms :)

while my legs will stay as white as ever -_- next time : sun screen!!!

My friends wanted to do something tonight and left me a message at 10:30: they were downtown and told me to go meet them. I refused for obvious reasons... it was 11:20 and I'd have tp drive 25 mninutes to go and another 25 to come back. All this to stay for 15 minutes because they'll want to go home by that time.

Here in quebec, gaz is 1,39 cents/LITRE

when it costs 55 to full my car's tank instead of my old 40, I CAN'T afford to go there. I go to that exact palce 5 mornings/week and come back 5 afternoon/week... this means with traffic, 1hour 35 minutes everyday... it's a bit moer than a full tank/week.

On all this, I need to go to work. And working to pay my gaz, orthodontist and soon vacation expenses AND cell phone, it's practically most I can afford of extra is a 40 to 60$ every week for school things, food, and going out. Most of it already used since yesterday...

All of my friends don't have this problem. They'Re smar students to go to college or University and their school's been finished for 2 weeks. They worked the last 2 weeks full time. Others have NO SCHOOL at all and work every week to earn money...

I'm the only one still in school and the only one working on saturdays and sundays.
¸feels great huh? I NEVER get to see my friends...when I can, nthey don't want to because they fall asleep, when they an they do things far not taking in consideration my hard labord.

Here's my weekly schedule that's been going around for the past 2 months.

Sunday: Working all day
no one available in the evening to do anything. need to get ready for monday's school

Monday: school all morning and afternon: work all evening

Tuesday: School all day, evening extension classes

wednesday: school all day, working in the evening

thursday: school all day and... OMFG A FREE EVENING!!!!!!!! /%??*""$?%/"?% Q/%Y?*N /%"&* HAPPY

Friday: school all day, working in the evening

Saturday: working either all day or all evening. If so, some bike with jm in the day, in the evening, getting choked by most friends because they eat at rich'S time.é... aka 9 pm dinners that last long and forever, leaving little time before to go sleep = this means noithing because I'm working the next day.

see? when the HELL do I get to see people and have a good social life? My friends are not close in the week... they live away OR don't want to come down here...


-sigh- And they didn't want to see Valery tonight. While the girl wanted to see them, they easily told her to fuck off and do things on her own. not inviting her. oh, and at 11;20, they were talking behind her back when I called.

friends you call them?

There is one thing that I know and it's that we might leave the house for an appartment. My parents need the money to get my mom's teeth feeling better and for once in their lives, they want to go on vacations somewhere at the beach. I don't mind, since it'll bring a smile on my parent's face and make them feeling better of 25 years of hard labor and raising their kids and paying for their education.

parents deserve this.

I'm 20 years old and my brother is 22. We're both working and paying our own expenses to let them live as best as they can. Sadly the house's been the biggest thing to pay and they can never put a few bucks aside or get anything as it was the biggest luxury they gave us for the past 4 years.

My brother is not very pleased with this idea... on the contrary, he loves his luxurious life of having a huge TV, big room and lots of space covered of dirty clothes and wires and all the likes in his room. (aka his room's a total dump... you don't see the floor AT ALL!)

For the past 2 months, mom and dad have been trying to get him to clean it up for pictures and for people to visit once it's for sale.

and...? he's never done it. Not that it's a crime, but he's not doing it for one reason that he tells everyone but us: he doesn't want to move so he's being an ass and not cleaning a mm of it. Just so the house looks horrible and not presentable.

he cares about himself only on this... not thinking about mom and dad's hard work for us and just wanting ONCE IN A LIFETIME, somethign for themselves to enjoy.

Today, surprise when I get up at 10... mom and dad with 5 garbage bags, are cleaning his room from A to Z and putting away all his clothes that's lying down to the garbage!

everything's he's been wearing for work he doesn't need anymore is also put away.
I want to see the end result of that cleaning AGAIN.

so other thasn that yesterday I went to Montreal's Casinoo with a coworker who turned 18 sunday. she liked it, but I brought her because she likes to buy lotery tickets already. Everytime she works... She likes the look of the casino alot and it's VERY surprising, but she gets tired of it. One thing I manage to do... decieve her of playing too much!!! :D we didn't win anything at all XD

and today, we're going to parc jean drapeau again, or longueuil, where I study (far away). Parc Jean Drapeau is where the Grand Prix is... jun 8 is canada's grand prix.

so yeah D: a nice place to see and david said there are activities today. that's why we might go.

so, gotta go finish my hair and eat, toodles!!

ORTHONDONTICS:

I had an appointment today and some good news came up. I'm done with my bottom palate! THey blocked the hole with a metal wire so it wont move until the top part is done. The top is smaller somehow even if we have stretched the top at the same time. I have an appointment on July 1 to see when I'm completetly done with the expanders.

I'll probably be a few months with them in even without expanding so it gets used to it. But my orthodontist, Henry, said things and my dentist, dental surgeon and also orthodontic (the one verifying EVERYTHING that's being done) said we'd get the braces installed by the end of the summer... is it possile? or am I really going to have to stick with these for 6 more months?

we'll see. But it's a good news that the bottom is finished for now! I saw the before shape of my palates and I must say there's a very big difference from back then to right now :)

I can'T wait to feel the space in my mouth once they're out!

and not to mention that instead of expanding 2 times a week, I gotta do it every 2 days. ex: Thursday, saturday, monday, wednesday, friday, sunday, etc... 4 times a week to speed up and to make the top fit the bottom :)


SCHOOL: Things are getting better socially. Lea's boyfriend dumped her this weekend and I wrote her a cute mesage on facebook... somehow, since she noticed I care een if she hated me, she realized I wasn't such a bad person and so did Tommy. Tommy today made a joke and even kissed my cheeks. Something I was far to expect if you remember they were both ignoring me for the past 2 weeks.

my inspiration and motivation is coming back :) I hope it'll stay like this now.

MEN HAIRCUT: Hate the hair that falls in my shirt... it's itchy. But my graduations are done well and I just need to concentrate more on the shapes. It's a real art to cut men's hair... it requires a lot of sight since everything needs to be perfect in LOOK. short hair show way more mistakes than long ones.

COLOR CORRECTION: hopefully I learn more to fix marilyne's hair... I also have to redo my dark brown and roots AND the red's roots. Once I find the silver I'm looking for or try the one I have, i'll put the red SILVER! :)

PERM: hate it... I have NO model for my exam and the requirements are standard perms, so short to mid-short hair... my aunt got hers done last month!!!! But my friend suggested to do it for me if I couldn't find anyone.. if I do, I'll make a lousse perm that wont make her look like a sheep XD

LEUCHEMIA: I might go monday, shave teenager's head in a highschool for leuchemia... one of their mates suffers of it and they decided to organize a day for it. Many kids will do it too! if it's not monday, it'll be on june 17 :)


so far it's pretty much it. I'm hoping that I can easily finish my project tomorrow night :) I need to go and print photos!! XD

This weekend was long but soothing! Friday's class was canceled so I spent the day with jm doing some bike before I went to work. At work, I was cut 30 minutes ahead and missed my brother who said passed around 9 to get some beer and food. (he did miss me AGAIN)

Saturday I spend the day at work as usual but in the evening we were choked again. our friends let us down... But we called Theo to do something last minute worth. We went to see Narnia 2. A pretty good movie, I loved it, but could've been better somehow :)

Sunday, slept a little and left for work at 8 am to 1 pm. after that jm, stephanie, her sister, madgin, valery and I went to do some bike... We left my place to meet mad, steph and her sis at the bridge.... boat crossing station. Getting there, the gate was closed and the bridge was up with a boat to pass. We waited for it to pass and GOD I LOVE BOATS. I was amazed by it's HUUUUUGE size and seeing it from so close made me shiver!!! I LOVE IT! I always wish I could visit commercial boats and see the engines and make a tour from every corner.

We crossed the bridge and took the isle in the middle of st-lawrence river ALLLL the way to the parc jean-drapeu (where the grand prix circuit is (circuit gilles villeneuve). We went all the way around the circuit and came home. But coming home was hard. We could see the rain coming and flys and insects kept on biting us. We were covered of them byt the end of the ride! In total: 42 km.
We were right beside Montreal's Casino. If I hda my camera I could've taken tons of pitures of the city's shore. We're kind of far from the shore I live, but there, we were right beside it.

It was really fun. Then, we ate at Val's for the last time before she moves somewhere else. We got home and I slept. In the morning I got up and since it was raining this morning Steph, madgin and jm and I went to do some shopping.

this summer's fashion is horrible so I didn't buy anything... just a CD of trance music called Euphoria :) (contains 3 CD's) I could've taken clubber's guide 08, but it was 40,99$ fuck off at that price X

I went to work after that from 5 to 11 and here I am now.

tomorrow, I have some projects to finish and work on and then I need to full my car of gaz and full my tires of air as well. it's lacking overal more than 6 pounds of air in each tire. not too good. I just need to remember where I put my air gauge the other day -.- that's me -_- forgetting as easily as 2 seconds after doing something...

that's it for now! I have exension class tomorrow afternoon too!

Tonight, mom and I had her sister's visit. but after, we did some rollerblading together!
Mom wasn't used to it as well ^^ we did 3 street turns (our street's a big square)
and we had a lot of fun when it was dark!

then, I tried my new bike that jm got me ^^ it works wonderful. it took me a while to understand how tot ake the breaks off to take the front wheel out to put it in my car but I managed to after 10 minutes :)

I'm going to his place tonight!

So right now, I'm on to check on some stuff and should be going to take my shower and wash my hair.

My job also has new shifts... like sunday, my shift is 8 am to 1 pm... but SUPERVISOR!
it's usually 9 to 3 and 11:30 to 6 and the last one 3 to 11 on weekends :) but it's nice this way! small shift, and I get my whole afternoon off!!

Not to mention next saturday... I'm supervisor in the evening but instaed of doing to regular 3 to 11 that cuts my day in half like mad on SATURDAY: my shift is 5 to 11!!!! I have my whole afternoon OFF!!!

hehehehe

AND this weekend is a 5 days off weekend. Our men's class was canceled friday. and monday is patriot's day ANd we have a free day tuesday... I have hair extension class but that's in the late afternoon.


I'll do my best to sleep tomorrow OR monday or tuesday.

so overall a nice time. I might get my sense back from school happenings easier this way. Today wasn't a good day for me x_x I'm also in SPM which made me quite agressive when it didn't work... sadly x_x I guess some people were mad at me for searching all around myself. The shop guy wasn't there so we didn't have access to our things. I needed stuff and had to do with thing that were NOT working... so my arms are orange and red now -_-

-sigh- anyways. hopefulyl everything will be alright next week :)


oh and I have no MODEL for my Standard PERM exam... damnit -_-

So it's finally it, my brother and Erika split up for good this time.

In october, they took a break since erika was acting as if she kept finding stupid excuses to not see my brother. They had to go on a trip this summer. But my brother's job didn't go as planned. he was stopped for a month so he had no incomes. He paid his bills (car , insurance and phone) with the money he savec up for the trip.

Because of it, he can't go! But it's not the problem. She came home tonight because they had to go to the restaurant. She never said hi and was feeling crappy. My brother asked her what was wrong and she said "I don't want to tell you" and he mentionned this:

"I know what the fuck is wrong, it's not working anymore and you're just not telling me anything. Now stop lying and once you walk out that door, if you do, you're never coming back, never calling here, or on my phone forever again"

without hesitation, she turned back and walked out.

She's been like this for a very long time, if not a year or more. They've been together for 5 years and a half. She was constantly finding excuses for him not to go sleep over or to not see him. like "I need to sleep" or "my mother wants a family meeting" which never ever happened.

so to continue with the trip, she said she wanted to go THIS SUMMER and was offered in the winter instead so he could save up again. Mr's didn't want to wait.

So one of thw two weeks off my brother took, since he canceled the other one to work, he told her they would visit the entire Gaspésie together. But she announced that she decided to go to the tip with her younger sister (who is my age)

during the ONLY week they'd ever be together in the whole year. she never got along wiht her sister either... that's the worst!

So my brother got on his heels and put his pants on. He gave her everything she wanted, paid restaurant every week if they could be together, drove her everywhere, paid movies, hotel rooms, EVERYTHING. without being grateful somehow.

He's feeling like crap but he's realizing he lost time. They have NO 0% point in common too.

Erika is a really nice girl I enjoyed talking with. Only we all knew ssomehow she seemed to use my brother... or maybe she never realized how lucky she was and was pretending to love him while trying to avoid him.

kind of stupid if you ask me.


PS: va pas parler de ca a mon frere jm, parcqu'y va se sentir vraiment mal... yé triste, parcqu'il l'aime érika mais a l'a niaiser... évitons le sujet avec lui. MERCI! :) j'taime fort!

Another day free because of exams... and it was sunny as hell! I completetly forgot about it until yesterday night.

Marilyne and I decided to go to SkySpa in Quatrier DIX30 today :) we also shop some time and I bought 2 t-shirts.

skyspa was wonderful, relaxing and fun.

We got there, were given a reusable water bottle, locker key and all the likes. We changed, left for the palce that was on a ROOF TOP! we went into the sauna 15 minutes, went outside since the nordic waterfall wasn't working today (sadly... it was freshly painted). We relaxed, went to lay down on pillows into a relaxing room with a view of the world in videos with calm music everywhere.

Then, we went into the vapor bath. It was HOT AS HELL BUT SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO COOL!!!!!!
then we went to take a cold shower, and went in the jacuzi. we almost fell alseep so we went to lay down on a chair under the shining sun and blu sky!

we went to take a nap into the relaxing room again and we read while watching people walk all around the quartier DIX30.

we went to eat, and then shop :) we wnated to make a plushie! but we will some other time, even though I wish I could make one and recieve it as a gift. I want it to be jm and I's baby! :D since we don't have any of our own. and they have this cuuuute sailor uniform!!! and shoes, and animals... XDDDDDD

so that was my day. i need to clean now, and DRINK

Somehow, it'S wierd... today we had man's haircut class... but the stylish cut teacher wasn't there for the other group! So we ended up having them in our class (or rather the other way around) and we were 30 in the class... there was half the space to work with!

it was incredibly boring in the morning just to figure out how to get everything to work, which class to use because one is unavailable and should be renewed starting tomorrow... it can't be used!

and then, we had a customer that ditched our plans... we canceled the others and really started working at only 12 pm... I did a whole cut, others did two (but I had a graduated neckline to do unlike them because I was sick friday and skipped class)


and everyone was tired and mean to each other... somehow, marilyne and Christine and I were not!
Tommy said a really misplaced comment on me and he thought we never heard it... a friend that backstabs you is no fun. and so all day we talked about it (the girls and I)

and I told him how it hurted as a comment and how it was misplaced for someone who had been said my friend and said he loved me. He said I could take it anyway I want and almost made me go take a walk!!

The girls thought it wasn't a good thing.... we never talked for the day and there had been a cold feeling since the last month somehow... I don't know why, they don't like me anymore for doing whatever i don't know... they believe they're the best all the time and I believe Lea is walking onto Tommy and making him feel bad... her hair is cool so let's give LEA credit while TOMMY was the one who did it.

anyways... I get home after picking up my schedule and believing frieds like taht don't deserve better than hate and recieve a facebook message sayingg how sorry he was and how he never meant it. He said he was ready to apologize in front of the girls. well a message is rather coward... and acting as if it never happened would be worst. So I wont reply and wait for real life apology :) I was kind enough to tell him kindly that I heard and that it was mispalced and disrespectful, and he reacted like a 5 year old! he's 22... not 5 !

I'm REALLY different from them in what I like and how I am... but I'm still human and adult. I know waht they know regarding hairdressing and have the same capabilities and abilites :)


other than that I have my new glasses and marilyne did red stripes in my hair!!! it looks so awesome!! XD

baaaah worked from thirsday to TONIGHT... 5 days straight on the weekend. kind of crashes it down. Not to say I worked a 8hours shift saturday night...

Saturday I spent my day playing some games outside with jm :) it was pretty fun. I went to work and allll evening was rather boring. But I was SUPPOSED to see madgin and his gf... they said we'd meet up at 11:30 at my house. I get home at that time, and couldn't join them... their cell phone wouldn't work. each of them's. It turned 12:30... and jm got home and asked me to go take a walk. I knew they decided not to come and see me. And worst is, they didn't call and jm said he'd tell me because they were afraid to disapoint me...

well making me wait ONE hour while I could've gone to bed because I worked the next morning wasn't the smartest idea...

I'm the only one fucking working in the weekend and they never thought about that little thing. so it made me really mad... and I still am somehow. I haven't seen friends in WEEKS... Theyu had fun while I worked and choked on me without telling me.

jm and I took a walk, talked, and got back home. I wanted to talk but he wanted to sleep so kind of mad, I went to sleep myself. woke up the next day, went to work.

got home, we took a walk together for 3 hours. And we went to eat at the restaurant for dinner.

and I drew when he left home, all night long and slept a lot. I'm here now, after drawing a bit more.

An ordinary decieving weekend this time :( how can feel loved by your friends when they're scared to decieve you AND they choke on you... they could've called me ALL evening and tell me to forget about it and we'd do something another time... no one took the time to call me. Shows how much I worth for my friends...

-sigh-

oh well. other than that, my cold is getting better... I've been home from wednesday through friday to sleep.

and I reached 30 000 pageviews on DA

it's being a confusion maker... buy ecologic cars? they cots an arm and a leg!!
travel less, but it costs us a bunch of wallets to pay a bit of gaz!


today, it raised to 1,35$ CA/ LITRE!

in U.S.A, the price is almost similar but listed for A GALON.

isn't it USA who'S having a god damn hard time financially? but OURS costs three times more than THEM! and yet we're less of a car user than they are.

I believe it to be way too high. and there was a law that passed saying petrol companies had to justify their every raise of charges... yet WHY does it raise during VACATIONS and not during jthe normal working weeks?

I don't believe they're giving real excuses. they're jsut ripping us from our money. I) can't travel any other way to school but by car unless I pay the same price for a bus pass and spend 4 hours to go and come back EVERY DAY. emaning work less because I CAN't be in time to work ANd can't get money to pay that pass as well or my regular important payments.

see? there's no way we'll get out of life alive... electricity raised, cars licences and plates are raising, everyday life things are raising, minimum salary is raising, BUT MY FUCKING SALARY IS N.O.T. I repeat FUCKING NOT raising at ALL!

people's salary is coming close to mine and we can have 3 years of difference of service o<in the company, is THAT normal? is it normal everything raises of 2 dollars because people are paid more but I'M NOT? I don't believe it's fair and it's getting on my fucking nerves to see how most people are being ripped off and made poor... and they expect us to like western traditions? gaz will almost be 2$ the litre in 2 months... grocery costs a minimum of 160$ every week (MIMINUM) and can reach 350 for a regular 4 people family... to to mention school and babysitting expanses and others. I WANT kids and will have kids regardless of the costs, but it's still not fucking fair to let our kids live in a ripper community like this... they have hosues of a million worth dollars and we can barely pay one considering the interest rates... -sigh- life's nhard for a student...

Spring came fast... it was a horrible winter weather less than a month ago... cold and snowy.

But it's been sunny and warm for a whole week!!! no rain!!!

There were temperatures aroun 20 degress celcius... I walked around in my flip flops, skirt and tank top this week! my car burns from the inside and jm even caught a bad sunburn!

it was APRIL 15!!! and april 1, we still had a bunch of snow!!

Though it's getting chillier in the next fe days, it stays above the 15 celcius. which is good.

But, since it's cold in the night and VERY warm in the day, I caught a cold... I've been sick since friday and have been feeling the worst friday and tonight.

I'm congestionned and feel my lungs and bronchitis sore as hell. I caught and they feel like they're killing me.

But I'll be fine if I rest, tomorrow.

but tommorrow I gotta clean my room to take pics and for it to be clean for people to visit in the evenualities of selling the house. I also have to cut my brother's hair -_- when I can, he can't... luckily I brought my stuff from school.

I also need to sleep A LOT. I'm heading there actually... mom's still up and it's 12:10... downloading music now that dad showed her how it works -_- she's usually in bed at 10:30 pm! wth... at least she understands me for being on my computer longer at night :P
she'll be tired as hell! oh well, I bought some full throttle... she can take one XD

nighties!

I was thinking of doing rollerblading for the whole summer :) or at least as a way to get to work while doing physical work AND having fun! and helping the world's ecology by reducing my use of my car.

So, I bought rollerblades today. The last time I had a pari was my brother's old cheap plastic blades. I was 8 back then.

So today, I got a pair that cost me 300$ (visa is my friend). It should last me YEARS and they're of high quality and made of big wheels to go faster for strong legged equipped people.

Only after so many years... I kind of had trouble balancing right without loosing equilibrium. And jm said he wanted to go to Dave (a friend)'s place. Hard headed as I was, I FOLLOWED and it's , from what he told me 7 km away from home by taking the routes. Now that snow melted a week ago, the cycling ways are NOT in their best shape... rocks on the road, holes everywhere... I managed to get there in a loooong ride, and fell THREE times.

1. After 10 minutes, I got close to the urbain way and fell down in front of every car there was there. My right knee twisted a bit and it was a tiny bit painful but it got fine right after.

2. Jm took a way I couldn't, and since I was all confused and didn't want him far away because I STILL wasn't fine with my rollerblading, I followed. (that was 25 minutes after leaving home) It was hardish mud and ground, but while I WALKED on it, there was a harder part that made me fall down on my back, and I ripped off some skin on my right elbow. I got up and continued while some idiot in a car horned on me falling (it was a few meters away form ANOTHER big traffic road).

3. Once we got closer to Dave's place, we stopped at a corner to let a car pass, but SHe let US pass...only I saw a hole and decided to avoid it not to fall down, lost equilirium and did a split front to back in FRONT of the girl in her car!!!

That's when I noticed the side of my left knee was bleeding and was full of small rocks. I yelled to jm that once there, I had to desinfect my rather okay wounds before drinking and leaving. We got there, it took a whole hour.

I asked dave's mom for some peroxyde, soap to wash my hands and legs. (I had a skirt with shorts underneath... jm wanted me to hurry and said I'd die of heat in pants XD I have no good looking shorts).

And believe it or not, my knee still has some pain pushes. as well as if I lay my elbow on something. but seriously, doing that first big ride wasn't the smartest idea. my rollerblades are already used and some parts's plastic is already scrachted a lot after less than 24 hours!.

but I still love them and wanna go back. I'll jsut do smaller runs and probably stay around the area while the roads are not clean for sports. and Guylaine said she'd do some with me too :)

I ate for the first time today at 6 PM... I did all the way to dave's home empty stomac... jm came and got me with his car.. he elft with his bike to go back home and came to pick me up.


hurts...

On another thing we did, we went to the cinema tonight to watch two movies.

1. dans une galaxie 2 (awesome movie I WISH was translated or subtitled for the world to watch)
2. Forbidden kingdom

I didn't regret the movies! they were wonderful!
except for those STUPId kids yelling and doing stupid stuff during the second movie... I got up, and went to tell the staff. they shut their mouth at that moment... we told them to shutup and they just laughed. the girl told her they'd kick them out if they got any more complaints of them bothering... I wish she had njust kiked them out right away! they were swearing like their phrases were made of ugly words... it was unbearable to see and onfirm how parents don't raise their kids good behaviors AND good speech in public.


that's it I guess... XD I was sick friday and called off work to sleep today in the morning... that was why I was sick mostly : lack of sleep.

so I'm working tomorrow from 8 am to 5 pm... x_x

So it's official, we're moving out this summer. We ARE selling the house whether my parents split up for good this time, or not. They'Re going to talk tomorrow head to head at a restaurant to know what's going on between them.

Mom says she shouldn't be jealous of other women offering dad stuff (that he refused in the past) if she didn'T love him anymore. So she's all confused. She doesn'T want to live without being liked by his family since dad told them for the third time it's because MOM is confused and she is the one looking like the bad girl and the guilt.

she knows they don'T like her, and she doesn'T want to be forced to see them. but it's his family...

anyways... either way she told me about possibile places we'd live. Since if they split up, dad goes to his mother's by himself because he thinks Al and I wont follow him because he's being frustrated alll the time( I love my dad, I just wouldn't want mom to be alone... I'd be moral support to her). And my uncle's mother might be moving to their place so she'd let us rent her place which has been renewed AND is kind of an ok size with two bedrooms in the basement for my bro and I.

funny thing is, it's the SAME building where I lived back when I was 2 years old! only the appartment beside, but the SAME pattern :) same adress, so I know what it kind of looks like.

it's where I first played nintendo and mario with my parents! where I had hellium balloons for my birthday AND where I had a blackboard in my playroom ^^ where my bro was scared of his wiley coyote and where I had my picture with my bro taken...

and she'd rent cheap. So mom and dad, if they can sell the house for what they'll be asking, will give them 100 000$ in total (if they split up, 50 each) it would be a lot of money aside, to pay debts, live AND get them on vacation at the beach somewhere AND help om get her dental implants. She'd finally be nOT suffering. she had troubles eating tonight (as well as I did) because she had a bruise under her lower partial.

whatever happens, all I want is mom to be happy. Mom deserve happyness and deserves to care for HERSELF. She thought about us, dad and all the family before herself. yougner, she had suicidal problems and was held back form killing herself because she cared about me and Al. She didn'T want us alone, but she has a lot of family issues and was abandonned by her own mother... and her father died she was 14. Mom has in total 12 brothers and sisters, only talks to ONE of them. Tells you how big of a family she has. she talks to her oldest sister, her two cousins and her mother's sister (aunty, the one who's like a grandma to me, i love her).

they'Re like our uncles and aunt and grandma while they're my REAL grandma's sister and uncle and aunt's cousins.

anyways...

If I get a chance to live with mom happily like this, I wont put jm the burden of letting me stay at his place. I'll let him do what he has to do and take his time and buy things he wants before we start our real life living together, and I'll live with my mother for the time I finish up with school :) (who knows maybe she'll bring me on vacation with her ;) hehe kidding)

it'd do her a lot of good for working hard like she does all her life long. she deserves a break for being every company's puppet and slave. She deserves respect and a break.

that's it, it made my day, considering the dy I had was really shitty at school...

Jm and I had a wonderful relaxing weekend.

It all started thursday night when I played WoW and was given a shooting help by my older brother and his friend who kept sending me loads of money and equipoement and bags. My brother asked me to tell him when I was done playing. I did, and that was only 45 minutes later. I went to bed it was 11:30 pm. (miracle I was in bed so early). I woke up the next day at 1:30 pm! Overall, I started getting to ready to leave at 2, including showering, doing my hair, and packing... I was, as usual, later than expected.

jm and I left for the grocery store at 3:30, we got our stuff, and left for good... we cross Champlain bridge with barely any traffic, keep on heading north on hgwy 15 until BANG! we caught traffic in the root going to hgwy 40... from THERE, south of montreal, to the OTHER SIDE....which means, we were in 2 hours of traffic... it was the time we needed to get there WITHOUT... we arrived at the cottage at 8 pm to be precise. It took the whole trip montreal city to quebec city to get to a place 1hour away, while quebec is 3!

So we passed st-jerome and that's when the traffic stopped, it was already dark. He drove alllll the way there, 78 km to the north, then we reached the "portes du nord" (north doors)... that's when we were surrounded by mountains and the road started going up on them! the view was spectacular, jsut like going to magog, the opposite direction... you're surrounded by loads of forest, lakes and mountains!

I wont go into details, but let me tell you we had a lot of fun and enjoyed our stay... we slept a lot and cuddled. We took a warm bath, played games, watched some tv and stared at the cottages, lake and mountains surrounding us. We listened to the radio while reading the newspaper and, for myself, doodling under the warm shining spring sun...

the evening, we calmed our nerves in the sauna and jumped into a cold shower before heading to bed.

We woke up this morning, took our time to eat lunch (we woke up at 11:30 am...), watched tv ALL afternoon (canal Z, Discovery, serie + and we also watche TMNT's first movie that was playhing on teletoon XD (french)). After that we cleaned up, washed dishes, packed...

THAT'S when I realized something... I wasn't wearing my ring. Being emotionnal and ashamed, I cried a lot... I HAD NO IDEA where I had put it. I had a memory hole... You know? when you think about something you don't want to forget and when the time comes, you forget THAT but not the rest...

I remember taknig it off to wash the dishes because the soap was making it slip off a bit... I thought about putting it in my bra for the time being because I didn't have any pockets, but said no... I thought about the counter but it would've been to easy to lose it... THEN I forgot the rest...

we looked everywhere for it, taking the stove out of his little tiny space, as well as the fridge. JM wasn't mad and I was surprised. He told me to dit down and remember the lsat thing I did, but it was total BLANK. Like I wasn't conscious when I put it somewhere. He said he'd get me another one but that was a NO WAY... expensive AND I only wanted that one... it was special. He told me to unpack everything and look... I did.

It's when I opened my backpack, took the peanut butter and bagels out that I saw my switching glasses case. THEN! I remembered... I had a flash and remmebered putting it in my glasses case that was lying on the table so I wouldn't lose it and if I did, it was still in MY things.

I felt stupid..but I seriously had a big a blank. Things were cut from that single moment. It was the first time I was taking my ring off since jm gave it to me. Believe me, I'm NEVER taking it off again... everytime I take off a jewel he gave me, I ended up losing it, once, twice, three times!

We were on our way home and saw all the lights from houses and cottage in the mountains...it was beautiful! an incrediblde sight! Quite a bit of traffic too...We skipped our exit, ended up in montreal north... He said he was expecting me to guide him. so we took important roads until I saw familiar streets. We went all the way up of montreal and saw mont royal's light cross at less than 1 km. we were on TOP of the island XD so we had to go down! we took st-laurent alllll the way down, but it was the opposite... -.- so We took st-denis to go down, reached Viger street near the congress palace (where otakuthon will be held) and saw an exit sigh to the champlain bridge from the top of the road... we ended up going there by doing a few detours and got ourselves at my place. I'm here now! And off to bed soon XD

it was an incredible weekend to remember. I'd do it anytime again! Not once have we argued or yelled at each other... seemed like everything was fitting perfectly. we never argued about who was cooking, washing the dishes and all! it was sweet.

That's my weekend! I have to go put my room in place to sleep for school in the morning... I also have a shower to take because my hair is oily XD they didn't have shampoo and I didn't bring mine -.-

tudles!

Jean-Mathieu and are are engaged since saturday. cool huh? we've been together for 5 years now and he asked me on easter eve.

He told my family he wanted good to happen to me on easter. In the last four years, easter's been the worst day of the year...

2004 - my uncle had a severe sudden alergic reaction to peanuts. No one knew was alergic, not even him. ti was his firts time being this way. He came close to dying if my favmily's reflexes to call an ambulance was not fast enough.

2005 - my grand father passed away from his lung cancer on march 28, the night of easter.

2006 - mom's car was hit hard byu a stupid 16 yr old girl without licence... so stupid she was also a young mother who had an accident and had a baby and couldn't abord. She was TRYING to drive and fucking hit the wrong pedal. My cousin's truck was also not working after the engine was squashed from the front crash.

2007 - marie-pier passed away from generalized cancer on march 29, right before easter. She was a 20 year old girl that I knew and was friend with along with other friends.

2008 is finaly the year where things look up on easter, when j-m showed me the ring. It's PRETTY AS HELL. I love it... I never take it out. His is made of titanium. he chose it himself :) he knew what I liked, obviously ^^


I love him. And I do hope spending my life with him.

Gettinengaged was something I dearly wanted, if any of us die sooner than expected, at least I know people wont see me as a simple girlfriend, but as someone more to him and vice versa... if something happens to hm, I want people to know what I feel is true and sincere.

now I g2sleep... toodles! :)

As usual, every month, on that single thursday, my head melts and makes me feel untoleratable migraine pain. I came home from school, slept late and now I'm here, soon going back to bed! I feel a lot better, just hungry.


I started watching Full metal alchemist this week. I used to watch it on tv in english and got used to the character's voices in english dub. I really really like it! more than before!
I like the whole alchemy thing now that I read what alchemy really is and how it used to work in the old days and modern alchemy. beliefs and practices too. Seriously, it makes sense in FMA except for the magical stuff. but hey, it's anime, right?


I'm still waiting for mr sun to warm up our place... I can'T wait to go out after school and take a walk in the sun, warm weather with my ipod... XD it'S sunny today but... cold as EVER! no feel of going out.

I'll let things so short as it is, and go sleep. I will be back another time since tomorrow's the closing contest after work.

Anyone noticed how much the band simple plan has changed? their appearance got better, so did their music.

since I heard WHEN I'M GONE I can't help but to say that they ARE good! I LOVE that song!
I used to be ashamed to know they came from MONTREAL, where I live.

Now, it's the opposite. I might even buy their newest CD



"When I'm gone" by Simple Plan

Tomorrow is Wolf's (jm's) birthday! he's turning 23. HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love you! congratulations too!!!
He got an answer from the appartment proprio and she accepted to let him rent it! it's wonderful and the place is pretty as hell! not to mention 2 km away from his job and 600 meters from the mall!

it's in a pretty big town with everything he needs!
and it's 20 minutes away from my place, same distance, only more civilized :P

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

happy birthday to Jenn again ^^

and here's about my orthondontic things.

I've been expanding my palates 6 times as of now without any problems. pain? doesn't exist.
eating? no hard food, gum and all but I can eat fine.

disadvantage now? everytime I eat, things get stuck in the metal boxes and wires and I need to get it deeply clean afterwards as muh as I can. I use a special brush to get underneath the boxes and in between wires. But overall, the wire on my right side that used to cut my tongue to blood is now far enough to NOT touch it at all anymore. From what the top palate box shows, I have a about 1 c